Differences in Love

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Until my last breath, or my very first flight, I never got to experience real love. There might've been some love around me, but I was either too late to realize it or the love wasn't real.

It's true that I didn't love Hagar at first, but if I realized how much I needed her in my life, I could've led a satisfied life and maybe even prevented her death. I loved her, and she truly loved me. I knew she would be there for me no matter what, unlike my family. My father tortured me, my mother insulted me, and my sisters hated me, but Hagar only gave me happiness and true joy, but I was an idiot to not realize that. She loved me as an individual. I wish I could've spent more time with her before she passed away. She's the only one that taught me what true love was, unlike Guitar.

Guitar said he killed white people out of love, but what kind of love is that? He said that he would kill in order to make the white people pay for what they did to our people, but what did I do? I never killed anyone intentionally and I was always true to Guitar. What did I do to deserve this? Was Guitar being honest to himself? Maybe instead of loving the idea of justice, he started to love the feeling of killing people. He might've gotten so self-absorbed that he didn't even care about who he was killing. All he needed to do was find an excuse and once he did, he went running after that person and destroyed everything in his past. If only I was there to help him, maybe he could be a better person.

I just wish I could've experienced love during my life. I could've been a better lover to Hagar, a better friend to Guitar, and a better brother and son to my family.

Comments

  1. Sai RavulaNovember 3, 2019 at 4:50 PM

    This perspective shows the true thoughts of Milkman well during his trip to Shalimar and discovering his own past, as he realizes the ideals of Dead family, putting together all of his post-journey thoughts into a couple of paragraphs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. dipika raoNovember 4, 2019 at 8:48 AM

    I think this really captures Milkman’s changed perspective at the end of the book, highlighting how he grew as a character, leading him to have a more gentle approach to his issues with Hagar.

    ReplyDelete

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